What am I?
by All The Stories Are True 965
Summary: In a world where you are defined, one young girl must seek who she is, whether she likes it or not. She will discover many thing and have many things taken from her. She will have the help from the shadowhunters but she will also be hurt by others. Will she stay strong or will she break?
1. Chapter 1

Magnus Bane awoke once again finding himself in the heart of the New York Institute. He had gotten an emergency call from Alec Lightwood that they needed to save this girl from the mundane world. The girl, Anessa, is in Paris and they say she is in danger because she is different. She has ferocious lion eyes that stand out too much where she is so she has no way of being accepted into her society. Even though we are in 2016, she lives in an old village where they are more old fashioned, so there was no way to mask her eyes as some type of get up. Sadly, she doesn't know how she got those lion eyes. She doesn't know that she's a warlock, a half breed between human and demon. When Alec called him and told Magnus of the girl he couldn't help the misery that overcame him. He knew this still happened and he knew she certainly wouldn't be the last. But he has gone through it. The hate and the rejection he got for his cat eyes was so hard. He doesn't wish this type of life for anyone. He got up and entered the washroom and looked in the mirror. It reflected his messy black hair and caramel skin. It also reflected his gold green cat eyes that he has not only grown accustomed to but fond of. He wouldn't be who he was today if it weren't for them. He washed his face and started getting ready. Magnus wore a pair of his flashy clothes and poured onto himself a light touch of glitter. He then began spiking up his silky black hair and started to make his way downstairs.

``Come on, Magnus. We have to go.`` Alec called.

``Alright I'm coming.`` Today they were going to be accompanied by Alec's friends; Jace Herondale, Isabelle Lightwood, and Clary Fray, his favourite biscuit and an adorable red head. Though she's a bit short tempered she is actually very kind. They were all dressed in their gear and waiting for him at the front gate. Magnus joined them and started on the portal and hoped that they would make it in time before any real damage was caused.

…

Where am I, thought Anessa. So, after they attempted to trap me, I got away and now I'm in this abandoned building. She decided to look out the window and she found an angry mob carrying torches, telling her to come down. One of them was holding a pale, unmoving figure in their arms and she realized it was her younger brother, Tavor.

``Okay,I'll do whatever you want, just let him go! Please let him go!`` Why was this happening? All this because of my eyes, because I'm different! It's not my fault, it's not as if I have a say in it. These thoughts were racing back and forth in her head daring to make her lose all her sanity.

``Come down, you demon!`` The man continued taunting her by flinging Tavor's pale body like bait. As if she were an animal he was trying to catch. Anessa, feeling panic take over all her senses, dashed down the creaking stairs and stumbled in front of the crowd. Desperately hoping for his safety, she pleaded.

``Please, let him go!``

``Of course we will.`` The man held Tavor as if he was dirt, afraid he would dirty himself if he held him closely. He was holding him lightly, a distance away from his body, between his index finger and his thumb. An evil smirk split his ugly face into two. He had disheveled brown hair and dark brown hair with a small but bulky body. The fact he was truly enjoying this made Anessa shudder and goosebumps spread all over her body despite the brilliant heat the sun was giving. She never understood how people could bring themselves to be this cruel but after years of living in this village she could no longer be surprised. The man proceded to throwing Tavor on the ground like a used up rag doll and crossed his arms, waiting for something. But Tavor didn't react, he didn't move, didn't get up and he was as white as an unpainted canvas.

``TAVOR!``Anessa jumped forward and kept calling for her little brother over and over again, hoping to see once again his beautiful emerald eyes but he wouldn't respond. She checked his pulse but found nothing. Not the heartbeat that had always steadied her, but a terrifying silence. He was dead, she thought.

``NO!`` She screamed repeatedly, not accepting the fact that her brother was gone. She believed that if she kept wishing and calling for him, her little prince would come back to her. But she knew it was of no use, yet she couldn't stop, couldn't give up. ``It can't be, it's me you want! NO! WHY!`` She shrieked and looked up at the man but she found him laughing. She had never wanted this much to show them what a demon she could truly be.

``Don't worry, you'll soon join him, monster!`` The man said in between laughs.

Wissame looked around and found her mother, who had an amused look on her face.

``You aren't honestly trying to make me believe you feel something from this loss. After all, you are just a monster and they feel nothing. Just misplaced pleasure and cruelty.`` Her mother spat.

``Mother, how could you do this to him, to me!? You said your love for us was unconditional!`` She glanced at her mother, searching for anytype of regret or remorse, but she only saw eyes filled with hatred and disgust. Anessa held back her sobs with all her might. She would not let them see her cry. She got up with Tavor in her arms and her eyes were blazing, orange sparks crackling around her.

``How dare you!`` She growled. The tension grew and she fixed the man from before with a hateful gaze. The sparks grew in number but Anessa couldn't see them, she was simply just so angry. Then, all of sudden the man from before was lifted off from the ground and was sent flying. He suddenly hit the brick wall of the building she came from with a loud crack. She knew he was wounded from the head for there was blood dripping down his head. People started screaming and panicking, not understanding what had happened. Yet neither did Anessa. But her anger was still like a bonfire inside her and she found herself not caring. She had no idea that she was the one that had sent him flying. The villagers backed away from her and three went to check if he was alive. After a couple minutes, the man started to slowly arise but she stood her ground and held Tavor firmly.

In the corner of her eye, she saw a blue sea like swirl popping out of her nowhere and people coming out. Reinforcements, she thought to herself. How could they strike me while I am like this. She saw a man come out of the ocean sphere and beckon her. He looked harmless, she thought, but she didn't care.

``You drowned me , burned me, showered me in holy water, made me say prayers till I could no longer speak. And now Tavor. I'm a monster, is that it? Well listen to me, I'm never coming back. I have nothing left to live for!`` She said between gritted teeth trying to hold back her anger. Noone answered her, they were all too scared of what she could do. Anessa had no idea how that man flew but that was not her priority right now. With that she ran as as she could while still holding her brother, the last thing keeping her from going insane.

….

``There Magnus, let's go!`` Alec yelled and they began chasing rapidly after her. They maneuvered their way through the villagers and stormed after the girl with the lion eyes. The New York Institute and Magnus had just arrived when they saw a girl about their age, carrying a small pale boy in her arms. He looked dead, Isabelle thought. Just like Max had been before we burned his little body. Remembering the sorrow and devastation she felt, a connection was formed towards this girl. Magnus, Isabelle noticed, had a look filled with unmistakable empathy and anger. He waved toward the girl but when she noticed her reaction was one that resembled fear. What on earth must she have been through so that a stranger's wave is considered a threat? Isabelle desperately wanted to know.

The shadowhunters followed the girl into the woods. Anessa, still running at full speed, heard hurried footsteps after her and she picked up the pace. I am not going to die before burying Max, she promised herself. But Magnus finally caught sight of her and yelled for her to stop. At the last second, Anessa skittered to a stop and faced her pursuers. They were going to be a bother if she let them follow her any further. She was confident of her fighting skills and agility but when she saw all the weapons they had on their body her eyes widened. Whip, knives, bow and swords decorated their shielded uniform. She was outmatched and outnumbered that she knew. Magnus, seeing fear mark itself on her face made to reassure her but it was too late. She had already started running away again. Magnus couldn't afford losing her so he launched a spell towards the girl, making her unable to move. Anessa kept pushing against the invisible force, but her efforts were in vain. With this weakness, she felt an uncontrollable rage blossom inside her.

``What do you want, you want your turn to torture me, or whip me, or maybe you want to drown me?! Whatever, I don't care but you won't have me! Not before I bury my brother.`` She said while tightening her hold on Tavor.

Magnus simply stared at the girl before him. She reminded him of someone. Strong and fierce for others, put down for something she can't even change, and so broken that she just wishes to end it all. Magnus slowly realized that he was seeing his history repeat itself but in a much worst way. He never thought he would ever feel lucky for the things that had happened to him or the help he got but he sure did now.

``We won't hurt you, we're just here to help you.`` He said in a soothing voice.

``Yeah, so you just chased me down the forest and threw some type of powder on me so I can't move and you guys are literally a walking armory of weapons. Now you want me to trust you?`` She snorted.

Powder, huh? So this girl really is clueless, Magnus slowly started to understand. Well this make everything so much worst.

``After all, I may be a monster with no soul but I am no fool. Get away from me and what's left of my brother.`` Anessa continued ruthlessly. She was still heartbroken from her loss but she knew she had to stay strong. She stared down Magnus and his companions with a fierceness that would make a lion cower.

``Please, just listen to us. We can keep you safe and help you control your gift.`` Alec responded with a reassuring tone. Anessa turned her attention to the black haired boy and analyzed him. He was the second tallest out of the group, after the cat eyed fellow, and had a lean figure. He had ocean blue eyes but that was not what bothered Anessa. It's that he was looking at her with pity, and no matter how down she may be, she hated the fact that her sadness was so clearly written all over her face. She stared at him defiantly with her chin raised high, recollecting whatever was left of her dignity.

``GIFT? GIFT! I have lion eyes. I am not human, I am a monster. And this so called gift got my brother, the only thing I love in the world, killed! I shouldn't live, I am a curse, no good will come from me living.`` With that she turned away, conquering Magnus's spell with orange sparks of her own. But she was so blinded by loss that she had not realized she had used felt naked, as if these people could read her pain so she turned around and tried to escape.

But Jace, known for his swiftness and agility, ran with ease and caught up to the girl. He grabbed her by the shoulders and turned her around gently. What he saw broke his heart and made him step back. A girl around his age had eyes that were rimmed with red from rebellious tears, and long brown hair with traces of blond was looking at him. She had big bright eyes and cheekbones that would come out if she only smiled. She had full lips and a small nose. She looked so small, Jace easily towered over her. But he felt intimidated by the look of raw determination on her face while she tried to keep herself from crumbling. This young girl was fighting back tears, holding a dead boy. Those small specks of light, her lion eyes that were more strongly shown than Magnus, pierced through Jace's soul. The girl glanced down at the boy in her arms and said.

``He got poisoned, I think. He got killed and I couldn't protect him. They killed him because he's my brother. He was innocent and pure. Now here I am holding his lifeless body and looking at him with inhuman eyes. I was stolen everything from me, what more could you possibly want from me!?`` Orange sparks decorated the air while multiple tears rolled down her cheeks, despite her strongest efforts. She glanced at the people surrounding her. A flashing golden boy, a man with raven hair and blue eyes, a girl with red hair and green eyes, a taller girl with flowing black hair and finally a man, with eyes so similar to hers. Despite their differences in looks, they all had one thing in common. Staring at her right now, we're pairs of eyes and they were all filled with an endless sympathy. Anessa despised it.

``What do you want!?`` She screamed feeling herself weaken by this odd encounter, by these strange people. ``How come you have not attacked me yet?! I am helpless and you easily outnumber so you don't need to use tricks or traps. What are you waiting for?!`` She was so confused, for people could not be so kind without a personal gain. Jace was shocked by how she could be expecting an attack from people that she didn't even know. That she had been so wronged before that she believes everyone just purely wants something for themselves and not for others.

``We want to help you. We won't attack you, alright? Look at yourself, you need our help.`` Jace tried once again but to no use.

``I do need your charity. I need no one. Stay away from me before the villagers think of you my friends. If they do you will be hunted. Now, let me leave, I have wasted enough time! `` She said coldly.

``Please, just come with us, we'll bring you to safety and help you bury your brother, for the last time please, just come with us. We won't hurt you, I promise.`` Magnus attempted a final plea and he searched the little girl's face, thankful of the secrecy of the woods. He would hate the fact that these villagers saw her like this. That they got the satisfaction from her loss. Anessa held Tavor with one hand and wiped her tears with the other. She opened her mouth to say something but was stopped as she heard a familiar shrill voice from behind.

`` NO! Don't do it!``Magnus, startled by this unknown voice, turned around and found a woman, carrying a pitchfork and a torch. Anessa, realizing the woman's presence, closed her expression like a book snapping shut and turned her gaze filled with hatred towards the woman.

`` _Mother_ , what are you doing here? Go away, I told you all that I am leaving.`` Anessa emphasized the word mother with a sneer and spoke with such a dryness she felt dead inside.

``Shut up, demon! You are no daughter of mine so don't you dare use that foul mouth of yours to address me again.``The unknown villager then turned towards Magnus and the shadowhunters, without waiting for a response from her daughter. Anessa's eyes filled with sorrow.

``Listen to me. This creature,`` she nodded in Anessa's direction with distaste ``is not worth your time. It is disgusting, it has no soul, for God's sake it is impure. I have tried everything to purify her. I drowned her in holy water, made her say prayers until she could no longer speak, but her eyes stayed the same, mocking me! It is my duty to get rid of her! So I used her brother as a noble sacrifice to break her from the inside. Yet she is so heartless she has not shed one tear.`` The women turned towards Anessa and spat. ``Look at her, her brother is dead in her arms but she only thinks of saving herself. Help me, we must eliminate her for the greater good of this village, of the world.``

All of the shadowhunters, except Magnus, were shocked at those words. After all, how could such cruelty come from the one who gave you life. But Anessa looked as if this was usual, as if it were the daily greeting. However, Anessa's facade broke and her unknown saviors could see her begin to shake.

This is true, isn't it? Anessa thought. I'm a monster.

``NO! That's not true!`` Alec said as if he could read Anessa's thoughts. He spoke with such a ferocity it surprised her. She couldn't seem to understand why these people cared so much of what happened to her, of what people said to her. It was bizarre.

``How dare you, woman?! You say these acts you have committed to your own daughter as if you have done her a favor. Drown her, you say. And you insist that she is the beast. Why do you think her brother is dead, because you murdered him! Noble sacrifice, are you kidding me? Oh if there weren't any Accords what I would do to yo-``

``STOP!`` Anessa couldn't take it anymore. Tavor's dead, these stranger say they want to help her while her mother wishes her dead. For the first time in what seems like forever, she has never wanted more than to let her mother have her way and kill her, quick and painless. But with all these thoughts clouding her head, she felt Tavor fall out of her arms, her knees buckle underneath her and the last thing she saw was that strange man with beautiful feline eyes gazing at her with concern and something else she could not identify while she felt a black sea conquer her vision.


	2. Chapter 2

Anessa fell and Tavor fell soundlessly along with her. Alec, with surreal reflexes, caught them both before they even touched the ground. He kneeled them down while checking Anessa for any injuries. All he saw were scratches here and there but he knew that the fatal scar was the one on her heart. After having laid them down gently he looked up and glanced at the woman who stood before him. Never before had he not been able to control his anger or at least mask it. Yet at this moment, he felt ready to pounce on her if necessary. Jace, Alec's parabatai, sensed his aggression and stepped before him while glaring at the woman.

``Quickly, now, it is our chance to strike while she cannot run.`` The woman, not giving up tried tempting the shadowhunters. Her brown hair that resembled Anessa's so very much was coming out of her bun. She had green eyes and she would have been appealing if not for her angry features and tense posture. She would be that teacher everyone would fear at school, always getting students in trouble. But Anessa's mother did not look as sane.

``How dare you!`` Clary could no longer herself. Only witnessing this scene had been too much she could not imagine what it would must be like for the girl lying unconsciously on the ground. ``Strike her while she is down and you still think she is the monster?``

``Listen to me woman.``Isabelle said while unleashing her whip. The long haired girl had been silent this whole time, biting her tongue, fearful of what it would pronounce. But now she was ready to tear anyone limb by limb if they as much looked at the girl. At seeing Isabelle's whip be unleashed Anessa's mother recoiled. ``You will leave this forest,`` she continued while approaching her step by step making the woman step back with every step ``You will go back and tell the others that the girl is gone forever and that she will not come back. If I see or hear about anyone of you attempt to find the girl I will slay you without hesitation, just like you have done your son.``

``Also.`` Magnus approached the woman and grabbed her by the shoulders while she gave him a look of bewilderment. He made sure she made eye contact with him, that she got a good look at his cat eyes. When she realized what she was looking at she struggled and scream, trying to escape. Magnus, after hearing a satisfying plea for mercy, let go of the woman and let her stumble back to the village. After having gotten rid of her he turned around and faced his friends.

``Promise me,`` Magnus began saying uncertainly, afraid of the response he might get, ``Promise me that when we go back home we will not let the Clave's hand touch this girl. She has been through enough and she still needs to know the truth about the Shadow World and what she is. Having the Clave investigating her every moment will certainly not help her. Please, she will be my responsibility.`` Magnus searched his companions faces but to his pleasant surprise, he found no contradiction.

``How little you think of us, Magnus. You honestly believe that we we're going to let them even look at her. Come on, let's go back home.`` Jace reassured him and gave him his signature cocky smile.

``But, don't we have to bury her brother?`` Clary piped up while looking at Anessa's and Tavor's peaceful bodies on the floor. She had not noticed that Anessa's eyes were starting to open.

``We kind of can't, not without her being conscious.`` Isabelle said while putting a hand on her hips, to point out she was saying the obvious.

``I am conscious.`` Anessa, who still lay on the ground with her eyes slowly opening, said in a rough voice. She looked much older than she had when she was sleeping. In her sleep, she had a small smile tugging her at her lips, as if her dream held all the solutions, as if the dreams told her that her horrible reality was actually just a nightmare. Her eyebrows were not set in that line of anger but were relaxed and normal. Anessa's face was no longer set in a menacing snarl you could easily see through but in a welcoming restful state. In her sleep she looked peaceful, childlike. But now, Anessa, with her eyes opened she looked neither angry nor at bliss. She looked blank. A white sheet of paper that has not been written on. Her eyes no longer had that lively spark, they were simply dead.

``Don't make any efforts. Even if you haven't been badly hurt you are in no mental sha-`` Clary was stopped by Anessa's humourless laugh.

``Do not worry. I have been through worst. Thank you, though, for your concern but I need to go bury my brother. It is only right, it must be done here.`` She said in the same hoarse voice from before. With that she got up, bent down to grab Tavor and walked away. While she walked she felt her saviors following her.

``Why are you following me?`` She asked without looking back and kept her pace.

``Well, first off, to help you bury your brother and secondly, you're coming back to the Institute in New York with us. You have no idea what you're capable of doing and what harm may come to you. We won't be taking no for an answer.`` Alec gave her a look that dared her to try to say otherwise. Anessa remembered how that man from earlier had randomly been lifted off the ground and she thought it would be a good idea to just let them have her. So, having exhaustion way on her like a heavy blanket, simply nodded. She was following the secret path her and Tavor took -used to take- to go to their secret hideout. It cuts through the woods where the trees take up much more space than required but are impeccable for climbing. She stopped before an old looking one and rested Tavor at the root of the tree. Anessa, then, gazed upwards to find the little treehouse she built for him when they were younger. She could still remember how the hammer would hit her thumb instead of the nail and she would scream in pain. How Tavor would laugh about it good naturedly but would always check if she was alright. She might've hit her thumb on purpose a couple of times to hear his brilliant laugh resonate through the lonely woods when things were difficult. She couldn't stop the tears that slipped from her grasp as the memories rose from her head one after another. It was their paradise, where they could rest and be at ease. She never thought it would be where Tavor would rest for eternity, not so soon. Suddenly, she felt a tap on her shoulder and turned around. The cat eye fellow who she still did not know the name of, handed her a shovel. She thanked him softly, wondering for a second if he even heard her so much her voice sounded like the rustle of leaves in an autumn evening. She neither questioned the origin of the shovel, for he didn't have one before. Feeling the cool metal in her hands broke her out of nostalgia's grip and she brought down the shovel angrily. Over and over she hit the ground with the shovel and tossed the dirt on the side. Over and over again she heard Tavor's laugh echo in her mind. Over and over again she remembered every time Tavor slept in her arms, muttering childlike things in his sleep. Over and over again until she realized a hole to big for Tavor's small body had appeared before her. She took hold of her brothers cold body and laid him in the earth. All she said was , ``I'm sorry.`` because she knew if she said more she would break down, and the lump in her throat would overtake her. What other thing can she say besides that? She had failed him, it was as if it had been her who had killed him with her own two hands. Sensing many pair of eyes on her she once again began to put back the dirt. It covered her brothers body slowly and she envied him. He looked at peace, a small playful smile kissing his lips it made her want to scoop him up and crush him in her arms. To ruffle his face and smell his familiar odour, fresh grass and daisy soap. But no, he was gone. She had decided to take a nap in the treehouse and they slept and cuddled with each other. However, even though things were going on perfectly, there was no one to keep look out in case someone snuck up on them. They had had a long day of escaping and hunting that they simply collapsed the second they got back. And then, Anessa awoke, Tavor was gone and there was a letter telling her that the villagers had Tavor, and that if she wants him back she has to go to the village. Naturally, she ran to the village at full speed and was surprised for all her old friends and neighbors were heavily armed. Then. . . then. She could no longer keep going on this course of thought. She finished up and stepped back while feeling hollow. Things were too much, she knew, and she finally decided to simply let go and slip into refuge like sleep. She closed her eyes and let the tears fall, promising herself that this would be the last time she ever showed weakness, the last time someone she loved would get hurt. This was the last time.

Magnus, who was watching the scene before him intently, caught Anessa while she fell. The tears she was previously holding back fell silently and freely on her face while she once again lost consciousness. She is strong, he thought. How could such things happen? With the girl still in his arms he turned around soundlessly and began creating the portal to go home.

…

``How much do you think she knows?``

``Not much considering she didn't realize I used magic.``

Anessa slowly opened her eyes after having been awaken by the voices. She was in an infirmary, or something that resembled a lot like one anyway. The sunlight that came in through the windows reflected the white wall that surrounded her. The bed she lay upon was soft and comfortable and she just couldn't tear herself from it. But she knew she must. The picture of Tavor forever dead in her arms kept haunting her thoughts. It was stamped on the back of her eyelids, a lesson to never forget that she is weak. Anessa, still thinking of the voices she heard coming from outside, got up and went towards the door. She hated the feeling of being stuck in a room alone, surrounded by four white walls, imprisoned by her own thoughts. Before she opened the door she looked down at herself and saw that someone must've changed her clothes. For instead of wearing her ripped jeans and bloody t-shirt, she found herself wearing a nice sweatshirt and comfortable sweatpants. An unpleasant feeling dawned on her at that thought, that someone touched her without her knowing it. That she was at the mercy of a complete stranger and she didn't even have the opportunity to defend herself. But she also realized that all her wounds were attended to and she knew that she was in good hands but should still have her guard up. She was tricked so many times in the past she could never completely trust someone, except for Tavor. Anessa remembered how she was once heavily wounded, after having been stabbed from behind, and Tavor was sleeping in her arms. Her bleeding was getting worst and worst and she still had nowhere to stay and rest. Then some villager had welcomed her and healed her and even had let her stay a couple of days. Tavor had grown extremely attached to her and Anessa had completely let her guard down. But one day Tavor was playing outside in her garden and Anessa was hit by a fever. She was weak and couldn't get out of bed. The lady whom she was staying with told her to go to the washroom and wait for her so she could give her medicine. Anessa had no reason to not follow what the villager had asked of her. So, when she entered and found the bathtub filled with steaming hot water, it did not raise her suspicions. Minutes later she still hadn't heard anyone come in yet. She was growing more and more tired and she didn't hear when the villager snuck up behind her. The next thing she knew her head was underwater and she was struggling weakly against the strong arms holding her down. Anessa, feeling her lungs be submerged, had luckily found a hard metal hair brush next to her hand and grabbed it. She brought it down harshly on the woman behind her and Anessa fell to the ground, coughing out the water and she after having tasted it she knew that the water was not normal water, but holy water. After she had recuperated, she dashed down to the garden and went to find Tavor. He was there playing alone with the ball he was given and he was so surprised to see her wet and breathing heavily when she should have been lying in bed. She had grabbed him, ignoring his endless questions, and found a shelter in the woods. To this day, she still didn't know what hurt more, the stab she received before she met the lady or the betrayal the woman had shown her. She never honestly answered Tavor's innocent questions about what had happened to the woman, she always had some excuse. A child so young should not know that people are able to be so cruel. She would take all his pain she thought to herself that day. She would never let him suffer the way she did everyday because he had chosen to come with her. When one night he had stumbled on Mother cutting her wrists opened he knew it was not right and he accompanied her to her quest for freedom, despite her protests. She snapped out of her thoughts when she heard again an unintelligible mumbling. Her thoughts were easily drowned out by her curiosity. She walked barefoot towards the door and slowly opened it. Before her she found an empty hallway illuminated by little stones like things on the wall. Without knowing where to go, she randomly turned left and starting walking. Anessa, having absolutely no sense of direction, took time to stumble upon a door. On the other side she could hear angry yells being answered by a calm woman's voice.

``Tessa, I'm alright. I get it! He's dead, I don't need you guys making sure I'm alright all the damn time!`` Said a strange masculine voice.

``Kit, we wouldn't if you didn't always try to get yourself killed!`` The woman, probably Tessa, tried to reason with the boy.

``WHATEVER!`` He screamed angrily and Anessa internally panicked. Silently bickering with herself if she should run away or knock politely, the door flew open with a bang. The light coming from the room illuminated the dark hallway and gave an angelic light to the boy that came out of the room. He had dirty blond and bright blue eyes. A highly defined jaw with high cheekbones and Anessa knew he would have a beautiful smile if he tried. She obviously could see that he was the type of guy who had girls wrapped around his finger, that he could have whatever he wanted with a simple flip of his hair. The boy, having noticed Anessa's presence, looked her up and down and she flushed dark red at being inspected so closely. She had always hate attention, for she always thought of herself as anything but beautiful. Tavor had always had the good looks in the family, with his carefree smile and his puppy eyes. Though the boy had not noticed her flushed features thanks to the dark hallway. He had a slow wicked smile creeping on his face and Anessa could simply smell trouble.

``You must be warlock girl, I suppose.`` The boy said in a bitter tone.`` I don't see what the fuss is about, you look like any mundie to me -Ah!`` He faked horror. ``Wait! I see, it's those eyes, isn't it? That's what must've gotten your brother killed,huh? They're much brighter than Magnus's.``

Anessa tensed as she was once again picturing Tavor lifelessly being thrown on the ground. Tavor, his beautiful brown hair flowing in the wind and his sparkling green eyes always making her feel as if everything were truly alright and that her suffering was far away. After the cruel mention of her late brother, Anessa saw everything in red. Before she realized what she was doing, she heard a faraway crack and her hand was stinging. There was a flashing red imprint on the side of the boys face and his beautiful face was twisted in a look of pain and surprise. A part of herself whispered to her that she had slapped him and that she should apologise but she still was feeling bloodthirsty. The man that stood in front of her was rubbing his cheek ruefully and was giving her a respectful smirk.

``Well-`` The boy was stopped mid-phrase by a feminine looking shadow.

``Kit, what are you doing? What is going on?`` A teenager around Anessa's age followed him out the door. She had beautiful chocolate hair and stormy gray eyes but there was a look of wiseness that made Anessa debate her true age.

``Nothing much, just Miss Lion Eyes over here welcomed me with a nice slap on the face.`` announced the boy - Kit - happily.

``I suppose you have a warmer welcome to give me? I have been here talking to you for less than a minute and you act as is you know me.`` Anessa knew she was rambling, but she couldn't help the anger that was bubbling inside her. ``As if you can define me because of my eyes!`` She was still seeing red. This was not the first time encounters went like this and her mood was less tolerant than usual. She closed her eyes and saw that Tavor was waving at her, telling her to stay calm the way he would when she was on the edge of anger, when her self control was escaping from her reach. How dare he talk of Tavor, she fumed. Before she could attack him once more she left, not caring where she was going. She just wanted to make sure that no one saw the tears stinging her eyes, her lion eyes. Kit, regretting the hurt he had caused the girl, turned towards Tessa who was staring him down with cloudy eyes.

``Go ahead, Tessa, scold me. Go on.`` He taunted her in a provoking tone. He wanted to be hated, he simply wanted to be left alone. To not feel the pain of losing someone after the high of being with his loved ones.

``It does not mean you hurt others that we will ignore you pain, Christopher.`` He flinched at the use of his full name. `` Your grief is new and raw, and so is hers. You both have something in common, you try to be strong and hide your pain yet that will do you no good.`` With that Tessa left him speechless because instead of being yelled at or cursed at, he was reassured and read, as if he were an open book.

…

Anessa, after many twists and turns, finally found another room in which the door was wide open, almost inviting her in. It was a large white room decorated with a variety of weapons and training devices. Bows, knives, swords, whips, sabres were hanging endlessly side by side on the wall. Combat gear and punching dummies stood everywhere, beckoning the young girl to try them out. Anessa, still tasting anger and regret, grabbed a long sword from the wall and starting to climb a ladder that was hooked on the training wall. With her grip on the weapon and the higher ground, she felt invincible. When she arrived at the top she was about seven meters off the ground. To practice freefalling with a weapon, she thought bitterly. What's up with these people? Are they training an army of warriors? If so, should I be reassured or freaked out? She kept climbing higher until she was at the highest level which was 13 meters from the ground and she breathed in. She knew if she she jumped from this height without the proper training she would get hurt. But that was what she wanted. She wanted her emotional pain to somewhat feel real, that she could see the mark that was left from it, matching the one on her soul. Nearing the ledge, she simply stepped off into the training ground. She had planned to fall and just land on the mat below her but instinct took over her. She found herself remembering all the times she jumped in to help Tavor from the highest building, the tallest tree and the steepest mountains. She spun over and over again, sword still in hand swaying around her wildly, as if it were an extension of her arm. Approaching the ground she huddled herself in her arms and rolled when she got on the ground and gracefully got on one knee. Anessa,then, got up and made her way towards a dummy. She positioned herself, her knees slightly flexed and her feet far apart, like she had seen the guards of the village do so many times, and lunged forward. She kept swinging the sword at the metal training dummy, her eyes closed, as if it were a long forgotten choreography. It felt right. The sweat dripping off her back, the feel of the sword in her palm and the sound from the encounter of sword on dummy felt, oh so satisfying. She no longer felt weak but as if the world were at her mercy and she could do whatever she wishes. She was no monster, no little girl, she was simply Anessa. It was her and the sword, no one to attempt defying her because the sword is her and she is the sword. She is as free as the wind and she will not let go of this ecstasy.

``Feels nice, huh?``

Anessa, finally having landed on planet earth, dropped her sword and turned towards the voice. She had a guilty look on her face, like a child being caught from stealing from the cookie jar. As if she should not feel true joy, or at least personal safety. But when she saw who it was, the look left her face. It was the cat eyed man from the forest.

``It feels amazing.`` She responded honestly, not seeing why she should hide her short lived happiness when it was clearly written all over face.

``That's good. I'm Magnus, by the way. Sorry to interrupt you but I want to introduce you to everyone if that's alright with you. What was your name?``

``Anessa Sindile, call me Anessa. I'll come with you but could you explain to me what's going on? When we were in the forest, I remember you said something about magic.``

``Well, if you came with me all of that will be explained. Come on now.``

Wissame put the sword back on the wall and quickly followed the man who held all the answers.


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N. Hi everyone! I have been writing this story for a long time and I'm still working on it! I hope you like it and please be patient with me while I discover my inner author. Anyways, please review and tell me what you think, I will try my best to respond with all I can. Help me with some ideas plz. I will try my best to live up to your expectations. Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: The story the Mortal Instruments and the shadow world all belong to the awesome Cassandra Clare. I'm just adding some characters and having fun!**

Magnus led Anessa silently through the hallways. Her mind kept going back to Tavor and the events of the other day. First, how could I have been so stupid letting my guard like that, she thought. By letting these strangers see me weak they know how to attack me. Everyone knows that someone's weakness is another's advantage. Then being in this secret base I stumbled upon the Kit guy. When I first looked at him, he felt like a splash of water waking me up, but he's no different from the rest. Finally, how could I not only find pleasure in using a weapon but also get myself caught. Now this guy who I met just a couple of hours ago looks like he's about to tell me the secret of life.

``What are you thinking about?`` Magnus's smooth voice cut her out of her revery.

``About everything. What do I do now? My life was Tavor, now he's gone. So what do I live for? People have been so busy telling me what I am, I have no idea who I am.`` She said with a sigh.

``Look, you appear to be, what, 17?``

``16`` She corrected.

``You still have a whole lifetime to figure that out, darling. And if we're right about you are than you may have more than a lifetime.``

``Whatever.`` She looked away from him and stared at the patterns on the wall. Anessa had enough of these enigmas, she wanted answers. Looking back in front of her, Magnus had stopped before a small wooden door. He turned towards her and gave her a reassuring smile, worry tainting his eyes. He then twisted the knob and they entered the a huge room. White boards and chalk boards were everywhere. There were notes hanging on the wall and strings connecting pictures which Anessa had noticed were probably locations. Tables filled with documents and mugs filled with a black substance littered them. Inside this room was seated comfortably around seven people. The second they heard the creak from the door opening they all looked towards Anessa. She felt heat rise up to her cheeks and her hands were fidgeting all over herself, knowing she must look like a mess. Her skin was battered up from all the hiking and running she'd done and she had heavy bags under her eyes from the lack of sleep. But with all these things happening to her, she simply did not care, they could laugh if they wish it. She looked around the room and immediately recognized the people from the forest, an unknown man and the blond boy from before. She smile internally at the red mark that still decorated his face.

``Hello, I'm Tessa Gray,, it's nice to meet you.`` Anessa turned her attention towards the soft voice and found the same pair of gray eyes from earlier. The girl - Tessa - had a welcoming smile on her lips and was holding out her hand.

``Hi, I'm Anessa Sindile, it's nice to meet you all.`` She said while shaking Tessa's hand.

``Well like I told you before, I'm Magnus Bane, here at your service.`` He then gave her a graceful bow and a confident smirk. Anessa was slowly starting to let her guard down. If they truly wanted to hurt her they wouldn't go through all this trouble, especially if she's right in front of them and weaponless.

``And I'm Jem Carstairs, welcome to the Institute.`` It was a dark haired boy with brown eyes that spoke this time. He had a mysterious streak of gray hair and a faint British accent.

``Hello.`` Anessa simply said since she wasn't really paying attention. All these questions were eating her up from the inside. Such as where is she? What do they want? Who are they? Who am I? But as usual she kept her calm poker face she always had up for Tavor, to make sure he never worried or was afraid. She doesn't remember the last time she really showed her true emotions to someone, to trust someone enough to do so.

``Hey, we've met in the forest, I don't know if you remember. I'm Alexander Lightwood but everyone calls me Alec.`` Anessa stood once again confronting a pair of ocean blue eyes. His pale complexion and startling black hair gave him a mysterious look but his expression told us the opposite. It had a look of pure joy while holding gently Magnus's hand in his lap. She nodded shyly at him. How could she possibly forget about what happened when it was haunting her every moment of the day. She looked up at him.

``Thank you so much, all of you. For everything that has happened, I am in your debt.`` She looked at the ground afraid of what was going to happen next, not knowing what she would have to do for them to be even. When she was back in the village, she was taught that pure actions do not exists. That everyone always has an ulterior motive to what they do no matter what they say. So she just wanted all these games to be over with so they could tell them what they truly want.

``Are you kidding me?! Finally there's someone to spice up our old routine.`` The long haired girl rolled her eyes as if Anessa was being silly. ``Anyways, I'm Alec's sister, Isabelle. Are you feeling any better? I know it must be hard so don't think of being indebted on top of it all! I think it's quite the opposite. Thanks to you, we got to skip Jace's showing off routine.``

``Hey, it is not a routine it is a spectacle. Respect the art of awing you with my dazzling talent.`` The boy looked away from a small red mop of hair and handed them a self rewarding smile. Anessa was startled by how these people's generosity never faltered. She looked into Isabelle's chocolate eyes and saw concern and a surprising determination, a will to protect Anessa. Anessa had no idea how to respond so she simply nodded.

``Hey, we were serious. No need to worry about it.`` A squeaky voice said. ``I'm Clary and this is Jace!`` She pointed at herself and at the boy sitting next to her. He looked up and waved, then he continued to play with Clary's hair. He had a look of pure adoration towards the girl and Anessa felt surprisingly jealous. No one had ever loved her, she thought back. Tavor was the only one and she no longer believes if she can even love herself.

``Best for last, _moi_. I'm Christopher Herondale but call me Kit. Remind never to anger you,okay?`` He touched his cheek while giving Anessa a look of playful fear that made Anessa want to smack the other side of his face but she held back. Instead, she gave him a cold smile and decided he wasn't worth responding to. She turned to Magnus, her guide.

``So now that the introductions are over let's get to it shall we? But I suggest you sit down, this might take some time. By the way, would you like something to eat? You look like you haven't eaten for days.`` Magnus gave her a smile and gestured to the snacks that were on the table. She touched her stomach and felt like she was going to puke. She probably would have if her stomach wasn't so empty. Tavor's death is taking it's toll on her mind and on her body. She could feel herself get weaker, her fighting power and her resolve to live were growing weaker. Anessa shook her head and went to sit down on the only chair that was available, which was the one beside Kit. Great, she thought. Ignoring his eye contact and huge smile she sat down and could still feel his eyes on her, analysing her.

``Anessa, I'm about to start. This will be difficult to take in. I need you to ask all your questions at the end because you'll just get me and you confused if you bombard me with hows and whys. Ready?`` Magnus searched for any doubt on the girls but only found solid determination. She nodded, fixing her gaze on his cat eyes.

``Alright. First of all, I want you to know that all the stories are true. There are no limits to this world. The world you lived in was just a dream.`` Magnus stopped and inspected Anessa's expression. She looked confused trying to figure out where this was going. Magnus smiled and continued smoothly hoping she would believe him, hoping she would stay sane. But deep down he knew she was strong.

``Downworlders; werewolves, vampires, warlocks and fair folk. They are all real and you probably have seen them before, but disguised or _glamoured_. Anyways, you obviously know what vampires and werewolves are from all the, movies and stories.`` She nodded her head while gripping the armrest as if she were trying to keep her hold on planet earth. ``Let's start off with warlocks, I'm a warlock, see?`` Magnus moved his hand in fluid motion and blue sparks erupted from his fingers, dancing in the air.``I'm half human and half demon. Warlocks are able to use magic and have powers that were given to them by their demon father. We are the offspring of human and demon, demons being creatures who live in hell, who live for only wreaking havoc and seeking destruction. They feed on souls and desperation like a feast has been bestowed to them. But warlocks are not like them. Does not mean they have demon blood flowing through their veins they have an immediate evil nature. Instead we are given a warlock mark. See mine are my cat eyes. They set us apart and give us an idea on who our demon father could possibly be.`` Anessa had stopped listening and Magnus knew it. She had grown pale and her hands went subconsciously to cover her eyes. She then got up abruptly and asked for where the washroom was and dashed away saying she would be right back. Anessa was doing quite well, Magnus thought but maybe it's because she finally made the connection that she may be a warlock. That she is not what she believes to be.

Anessa was now standing in front of the mirror in a cold sweat. She was truly a monster, was all her head could repeat. For some reason, her mind faltered into seeing Tavor dead and her mother spitting at her words of hatred and she felt her stomach churn. Getting near the sink, she started puking but since she had nothing in her stomach there was only her blood and saliva, making her feel as if she were burning from the inside. Dizziness overcame her and she splashed cold water on her face over and over. Ashamed of having shown what a coward she was, she ran back inside the room where they were all waiting for her patiently and worriedly.

``Sorry, washroom break.`` She tried to make her tone light while avoiding everyone's questioning looks but she knew it wasn't working.

``It's alright Anessa. Would you like to continue or . . .``

``Of course, please.``

``Okay,`` with one last worried look in her direction he continued hesitantly but surely. `` Finally, there are fair folk. These creatures are half angel and half demon. They have the exterior beauty of an angel and a horrible personality. But, they cannot lie. They have spent centuries becoming more and more clever, learning new ways to dupe others without lying. They are to be dealt with cautiously but remember Anessa, they are still people. I think you know that we should not judge by blood but by soul, am I right?`` Magnus saw her nod distantly and he could see how her eyes were hazy, like she wasn't really there, that she was thinking of something traumatizing, from the look of it. `` Werewolves, vampire, warlocks and faeries all have some connection to demons. Like I told you, demons only think of harming. They may be from a parallel dimension but they can still come to ours and hurt us or maybe worst. So who protects us? Who protects the innocent and the weak?`` He said the last two phrases while nudging Alec, who was sitting right beside him, with his elbow in the ribs.

``Us.`` He said while shoving Magnus lightly on the shoulder. `` The shadowhunters. Shadowhunters are half human and half angel. They are soldiers who protect the dimensions from each other. They use marks.`` He showed his arms which were decorated with unique black musical swirls. Anessa felt like they were familiar and she started to get lost in them, how each and everyone of them would complete each other. Like art, they held messages wished she could read. She remembered how when Tavor would get bored he would grab a stick and start drawing on the ground, marks that were similar, if not identical, to the ones on Alec's arms. `` This is the angel's gift. They give us power when we need it. Each rune has a different capability, from healing to agility to stamina.``

``Ah! My favourite.`` Magnus said in a delighted voice while Alec became beet red. Isabelle gave a small chuckle from the corner of the room but quickly stopped after the killer stare Alec gave her. After having composed himself he continued.

`` We can wield weapons that help us banish demons back to wherever they came from. `` He took out a small knife that had an ancient looking writing on it. He handed it to Anessa, hilt first, and she felt the blade in her palm. She examined the writing closely and for some reason she knew what it said.

``Seraph blade.`` Kit said proudly.

``Raphael.`` When she spoke those words the blade lit up and emitted a blinding light. Everyone's mouths opened when they saw the light. A questioning look was all their face held. Tessa got up and walked hurriedly towards Anessa.

``Magnus, do you think?`` Tessa's eyes held lightning storms.

``Yes, yes.`` He said while having a confident smirk.

``What's up?`` Anessa still didn't understand what the fuss was about, but everyone seemed to be shocked, except for Magnus, Tessa and Jem.

``Anessa, you might probably have guessed, but you are a warlock.``Magnus continued.

``Wait, wait? No, you're making a mistake. I'm just a normal girl-``

``Then explain your eyes, Anessa.`` Magnus looked at her sadly.

Anessa breathed in to try to get some air in her head. She knew it was fruitless to argue because it made so much sense. She could see all the times accidents would happen around her when things got too much, when emotions got out of hand. How one second she saw orange and the next she could see the man who had attacked Tavor lying and bleeding on the ground. No wonder her own mother hated her. Did she know?

``But Anessa, there's more.``

``What do you mean?``

``The blade, it only lights up to shadowhunters. The fact that you were able to read the writing and that the seraph blade responded to you concludes that you're also a shadowhunter.``

``Is that even possible?`` Anessa was getting more and more lost and she gave the blade back to Alec while stepping back. She could feel herself drowning in questions, in fear of what she is and she was scared because what if they would start to hate her too for they obviously had not seen this coming.

``Yes it it, Tessa here is one too. But you have more angel blood. It appears that your mother was a shadowhunter with runes. Anessa, calm down. Let this sink in. It sh-``

``My mom! No, that's impossible! That . . .`` Her mother was the definition of normal. Her mother . What did she actually know of her mother if she's only been running away all from her life?, pierced her mind like an arrow.

``Was Tavor different?`` Anessa couldn't stop herself, though, she dreaded the answer, she did not want to be alone. But wasn't she already alone.

``Tavor was a shadowhunter. When Alec held him he could feel the angels blood coursing through him. Also, when you lost consciousness we tried a couple of runes on him. They didn't work, since he's dead, but they didn't burn either. It is a sign.``Magnus said.

``Oh.`` Tavor was always the heavenly one, she thought feeling deserted. Sensing the pity in the room she looked down at her hands, all of a sudden giving her interest.

``Anessa, honey.`` Magnus put his hand on her chin and made her look up. ``Listen to me, you are a target. Every-``

``A target?``

``Let me finish. I know this is hard but listen.``

``Sorry.``

``You have many powers, many that you don't even know of. Anessa, we still don't know why but you are stronger than most warlocks, but you're also a shadowhunter. Magic shouldn't come out from emotions and difficulties, shouldn't be able to be summoned without being conscious of it. It takes years, centuries to learn how to use them the way you have. When you learn how to control your powers you will be an unstoppable force and a dangerous weapon if you fell into the wrong hands. Now, will you use that power for good or for evil? Will you let us help you?``

Anessa looked around the room, her eyebrows raised. All eyes, even Kit's, were on her, intently waiting the answer.

``Look, no offense, but this is going way too fast. I don't even know what I am. I just think I should be alone, think things through and pinch myself to make sure this isn't one terribly long nightmare.``

``Of course, darling. But no need for the pinching, I assure you this is no dream. Take all the time you need for we will be always there, waiting for you. Anessa, you are not alone.``

I'm the definition of alone, was on the tip of her tongue, but she held it. Magnus stared at her. If it were him, he wouldn't have been able to take all this at once. He remembered how difficult it was for him but didn't let the memory overtake him. He was used to pushing things at the back of his head. But here she stood, calm but a little confused and hurting. She was standing tall and strong but he could see her panicking. How she was gripping herself so harshly her knuckles were chalk white. The only reason he saw it was thanks of his years of observing people. He could see her biting her bottom lip and how her eyes were shining from held back tears. Magnus knew that all the years that she held back her emotions and needs for the sake of someone else was causing her walls to be destroyed by a threatening tsunami. Anessa got up and hurried out the door, slightly tripping on Alec's chair but he caught her while she said her embarrassed thanks, her face red. Magnus cat eyes watched her leave and he wished there was something he could say or do but he knew from experience that the best medicine was time. So instead he turned to Alec and he held his hand for his own reassurance, to try to make his weakness diminish by having Alec support him.

…

Anessa miraculously found her way outside. She was trying to hold herself together, afraid of the earthquake erupting inside her. Warlock, vampires? She looked around herself, half expecting a vicious creature would jump out of the bush and eat her. And I hold some power. The only thing I can do is get people killed. He mind was once again flashed by Tavor's body being buried by dirt. Tavor, what should I do? Looking at the clear blue sky, she felt as if the sun was winking at her. This world keeps on going while my world is being destroyed before my eyes, collapsing itself repeatedly as if it were on repeat.

``Everything that I thought was invariable, that could not be changed, that it was the law of the jungle was all utter bullshit`` She screamed out loud, not caring who heard her. Anessa let herself wander, losing herself in her morbid thoughts. Wishing that she could take Tavor's place. That he would have survived and it would be him, not her, that must make these decisions, that must hold these burdens. She instantly felt ashamed of herself and started walking down the street. She looked around herself and found street lights and huge signs surrounding her, making her feel puny, irrelevant. A high pitched scream tore through her thoughts and extracted her from her misery. Instinct took over her and she ran in the direction of the noise. Anessa turned a sharp left on the busy street of New York and found a dark alley surrounding her. Inspecting the area for what could possibly be the source of that terrified cry for help, she found a little girl, tears streaking her cheeks, cowering in the corner of the dark dirty alley, right behind a garbage can. In front of her was a slimy turquoise beast, with no eyes nor nose but a line going through the middle of what should be it's face. It's fangs were out and they were releasing some sort of gas. Anessa took a large stick from the floor and sprang in front of the girl, blocking her view of the beast. But, at the same moment, the monster had launched a needle from it's mouth, Anessa felt disgust screaming at her from the back of her head but she shoved the thought down quickly, and it pierced Anessa's shoulder. She, being accustomed to pain, simply grabbed the needle and yanked it out, stifling a scream. All her senses were pointing to how the needle didn't just hurt but left an unignorable burning sensation spreading itself through her shoulder. With a horrible realisation she panicked. The needle was probably drowned in poison. Stick still in hand, she jumped towards the demon and jabbed the stick where the heart should have been. But that didn't work for the stick had started melting the minute it got in contact with the slimy creature. Anessa turned towards the girl, who had a confused look on her face since she could only see her fighting some invisible force. She yelled at her to run and the cowering figure took action immediately. She got up and ran, a shadow long forgotten in the alley. Anessa was watching the girl run away just as he demon took the chance and released a heap of slime upon her. But the warlock was only able to avoid half of the blow and took slime to unto half of her body, burning her. Not only was the slime burning her but the needle from earlier did more than burn. It was sucking out her energy and Anessa felt her knees weaken. But she held on and faced the monster. She would not die cowering but standing since she is not weak. Just as the demon started to approach her, it screamed an inhuman scream of agony and fell over, slime streaming out of it's body. Anessa was able to see a glittering point where it pierced the beasts body. While the demon disintegrated, she saw the figure who saved her before she passed out. He was tall and lean, with a mop of dirty blond hair and dazzling blue eyes. He caught her and Anessa could smell the soap he used and Kit. She smelled Kit. Strangely, Anessa relaxed into his arms and felt safe. She slowly lost consciousness, the needles poison taking effect. But she could hear Kit reassuring her that everything will be alright. Fear and panic tinged his voice but for once, she believed it.


End file.
